At Long Last, decided to use part of my precious book out time to blog =pMy Medic Course is almost coming to an end and all i left is a few more tests =)Anyway, realised how useful the stuffs im taught when on the way home, saw some crowd over at a bus stop and decided to alight and take a look, realised someone have fainted and as a SAF medic to be, I offered my help.The girl was unconscious on the AVPU scale when i first assessed her but her airway breathing and circulation was all okay except for breathing and circulation which are weak and shallow, decided to move her to SSLP position to prevent airway closing. Didn't do RBS on her since she's a gal and her fren who witnessed her fainting say she doesn't knock against anything. And gladly after moving to SSLP position for a while, she started to regain consciousness and become verbal, all indications show she's stable and is suffering from a gastrointestinal pain that's all, since other witnesses have called the ambulance, i just stayed there to complete the rest of my secondary survey =p And wad a surprise, when the ambulance arrive, one of the civil defence crew is my course mate.Although i didn't really do much but still glad that i'm able to help and allow the load and go process to be hastened =)Back to the medic course, combat phase is almost coming to an end and it sure is 'tiring' compared to the rest of the course. Couldn't reveal wad exactly we did but all i can say is, b4 we can carry the casualty back to collection point which is 400m away, we might well become a casualty ourselves from over exhaustion, the method is so not effective -.-Army stuff must be boring so i cut it shortBeen so free recently that i allowed my mind to wander off a lot and have been thinking about a lot of stuffs. First of all, I'm always imagining the kind of life if im to be posted to medical centre after my course and the 8 to 5 life would be damn shiok and i would slowly think about how i wanted to spend those time learning these and that.But this random thought struck me. Why not now? Why must i wait until the near future to do these? Wad if the future is not wad i tot it would be, not as wonderful as i imagined? Perhaps it's in the gene that human are optimist for we always look toward the bright future, but too much of anything is always bad and most people, including myself, always look too much toward wad the future had in hold for us that we ignore the present. Example would be when im in jc, i keep looking forward to university life that i didn't really cherish my jc life to the fullest extent and the list keep going on and on. It make me wonders if it just human nature or singaporean's high expectation that causing all these. It make me ponder wad i shld really do in the future, to make myself happy, will owning a huge house, a car with turbo engine and lots of concubine gonna make a man happy? Or will a man rather died a virgin trying to accomplish his dream ( a bit crude but got the idea from some show). Woah,my mom's angry at me for not sleeping at 2am =p shall go catch a nap now
Finally get out of slacking mood and decided to do some blogging.First of all, I'm lazy to explain the details over and over again to everyone so here goes.... this is the only possible explanation why i didnt end up in command sch.
I POP on a wednesday, 9th of june and the week b4, on 2nd june, a wednesday as well, we were asked to check this scoresheet which includes our IFC, SOC and IPPT score. I had a three days excuse lower limb status and it causes me to miss my IPPT, re-IPPT and SOC diagnostic. So it written excused from IPPT on the scoresheet, i asked my platoon sergeant and after he knew my diagnostic was already a gold, he say dont worry and sign the sheet first, they will find time for me to do IPPT. so on friday afternoon, we were supposed to do re-IPPT but since the final SOC is ongoing at the same time, i asked the 2nd lieut from platoon 3 if it will be a better idea if i go for SOC instead since i dont have a diagnostic score for it. He agreed and said it will be a waste of my time to do IPPT again since i already managed to snitch a gold and said it will not affect my chance of going command sch and asked where i heard those rumors =p. So i went for SOC and straight after that i book out in a very rushed manner.
The thing is that the platoon 3 2nd lieut doesn't even know my name and i had not inform my platoon sergeant that he said it will be okay to just use my diagnostic score.
So in the end, i guess on the record, it was recorded that i have not taken IPPT at all.
Now im in the medic course. There might not be much pride or prestige and not as highly paid as officer cadet but from another view, it might be a blessing too.
The course is really slack, and it allows me lot of time to read my magazine and do PT til my arm aches. The bad thing is whether i can keep up this self PT mood for long since everyone just slacked arnd during admin time. Another good thing is that i get to meet a mix of different kind of people. OCS OOC, clerk that pes status cleared and go back to combat. Others included people that came directly from units and this vast array of people granted me to know about the army and how it work on a larger scope. You start to understand how different units operate and hear many other story, esp from those who are in army for more than a year already. OOC has much more experience since they made to go sai gang here and there, not to forget that some of them already went thru jcc and other crap le but got OOC for dumb reason -.- Anyway, i still rather i will be chiong-ing out there, IM GETTING FAT!!!
I POP-ed!!!
Hahaz, has so much details to elaborate on the last few weeks
Lets see....
Had SITEST, a test on your leadership. Marched 12km to our campsite, nearly died and the next few days is simply WTH, running with our SBO on thru out for all 6 stations under the scorching sun is damn tiring, to add on to the fatigue, a direct hit on my knee cap by someone else's rifle nearly killed me, cannot squat or bend at all for that 2 days but still have to run =(
Missed IPPT because of my knee cap but luckily i have my diagnostic GOLD alr =p
The week after, spend lot of time ba long long -ing ( slacking) arnd since the administrative is always so screwed up. Sitting 3 hrs in parade square awaiting next order and suddenly, activities cancelled and made to go back bunk -.-
the 16km route march is also WTF, shoulder nearly POP-ed, a minor injury that i tot nothing of in the past caused me so much misery. However, at the end of the march, you will feel extremely accomplished.
Last week had practice for POP and five hours under the scorching sun again. BCCT is ouch and POP!!! 24km was easier than the 16km unexpectedly. I feel nothing for the first 12km but however at the 14km mark at rocky hill, a rock caused me to sprain the joint between my butt and thigh. The next 10 km was pain pain pain and more pain for me. Esp for the last 4km since common sense tell you it isn't 4km ONLY. plus my coy's excellent planning resulted in us marching extra 1to 1.5 km.....
Anyway, POP finally over!!!
Right now, wad troubling me is should i attempt to down PES? Everyone upon reading this must be thinking keelui is an ultimate slacker but my intention to down PES isn't really so.
First of all, I enjoy training myself up physically but I do not enjoy spending hours waiting for commands, wasting my life away. Furthermore, upon entering army, i realised many old injuries are giving me a lot of trouble, like my shoulder and esp my back. Waking up in the morning with a backache when there is no physical training the day b4 is really WTF. After the route march today, i was more certain that the injury on my left waist had not recovered totally.
On the contrary, going thru command sch may be quite prestigous and give you a lot of pride as a soldier and you gain a lot of experience and memories along the way and in the future, when you are talking cock with your brothers, you can boast and talk cock about your army life.
Wad's the alternative, down PES and try to get 8 to 5, use those precious time to take up course, read, teach tuition and do many more stuffs that may or may not be useful in the future =p
Decision is so hard to make, but no one can decide for you. Troubled and in a dilenma, wad shall i choose, i guess i'll eventually know -.-
Hahaz, surprisingly, got to book out which i'm not supposed to, 2 more weeks!!!
In addition to that, got gold for my IPPT diagnostic test, argghh, still have to do the real test again, wad a pain in the ass. Nevertheless, almost complete all the shitty stuff in BMT le...
Rather confused and undecided now, should i express interest in command sch or find a way to chao keng and drop pes? IF i can get 8 to 5 it sound nice too, but is reality that easy? Or is the prestige really worth going thru all the shit for 9 months and tiring myself out? Hahaz, im really a super lazy person, know that im physically fit enuff but i just want to slack thru everyday =p
So many movies to watch, so many shows to watch, so many games to play and so many many things to do but NO TIME, arggghhh, book in time -.-
Oh yea, another week of BMT is over, finally halfway there. I dont know whether i love this week better than the previous few weeks or not. One thing definitely true is my mentality changed a lot in this one week. During the last few weeks, im going thru a decision making phase and it made me really confused and troubled, made me feel like having someone there to guide me thru the dark. But ultimately, i realised that im the decision maker and i decide for myself. Although i havent come to a complete decision, meaning that i might still changed it afterward, but i decided that for now, i just decide to SAF (any army people will understand wad this mean) and continue with studying like a normal student, enjoying my freedom to the very last bit. Wherever i end up in, whatever tough training they tossed at me i shall just grit my teeth and endure. Since im alr stuck with NS and a pes A/B, shall just make the best out of it and experience as much things as possible and train myself up. And i realised the hope of joining navy after BMT to save myself from all these shit is just pulling my mood and morale down and giving myself a difficult time in BMT.
Hahaz,saw the commandos and their cool weapons and for a moment, i thought, i want to be a commando =p It's rather cool to play with those weapons but nevertheless i still prefer my freedom over anything else.
Anyway, i couldn't say serving NS is all that bad, though i only been thru this for a while, i come to many conclusion and felt that after going thru everything, i will come out physically and mentally stronger. Furthermore, being so deprived of everything in there just make you appreciate every lil thing out there, may it be a civilian life, something as simple as choosing wad you eat, where you want to go, or even be living peacefully. CIVILIAN LIFE ROX.
Last but no least, went to the new PA and had dance practice, never expected laoshi is going and in the end, did all the training and erm, the tiredness incurred is > two insanely speedy AGR, 1 30-60 1 SOC in SBO with everything in it and a 3l water bag plus lot of PT. But really glad that i got to dance again >.<
Anyway, really thankful to those who sms-ed me while im in camp, it was really sweet and revitalizing to see them after a long day of practice. And really glad because i have frens that really care =)
Extremely troubled this few weeks, im presented with different choices at the present. Im really afraid of committing myself toward a fixed life ahead, it might be stable but it just lack something, an element of surprise, a chance to go to greater height. Maybe it's because I still held the idealistic dream of becoming a billionaire overnight that im afraid to make a decision. Or maybe it's because im afraiding that i will lose my freedom to choose wad i do. However, the incentive is still drawing me in, a quick shortcut out of army, a great monetary incentive, but to the very end, is those really that impt? I really sucks at making decision for myself, esp when we followed a fixed path in our life for the past 18 years. guess i need to speak to some older people for opinions >.<
____ life sucks, couldn't say it too clearly to avoid getting charge but ya, it really do.It's not about the accumulation of physical fatigue but more of the loneliness that creeps in and the mental torture it's giving, the fast yet monotonous life draining you of your energy, crippling you of your ability to even think well.
One fine example is the decision to enter the navy. Maybe it's just because im sick of these shit im going thru in bmt that it serve as a hope for me. This truly shows how weak i am, to succumb to wad's in front of me and make a hasty decision. Although the navy still is a very attractive offer due to the money, im having hesitation of dedicating 6 years of my life to it. Even the thoughts of going OCS frightens me, i really hate getting dirty in mud and afraid i couldnt take 9 more months of this shit but i also dont want to waste my 2 years experiencing nothing, i want to make the best out of it.
Im seeking for sound advice of others to reassure myself but ultimately it's my own decision.
I guess this is the phase of life where all the decisions come into play and you suddenly grown up and step into the real world. You have to trust your own judgement, not just words of your fren and that's my biggest problem, im easily swayed by wadever people said. I may put up a strong front but deep inside my belief decision was shaken.
I really need people to give me simple encouragement like 'push on' , 'it's okay' or 'you going to be more man after this!!!' I'm just asking for someone to be always there to gimme simple encouragement like this. To gimme a reason to continue.
Recently, just felt that my life's so extremely screwed up. Im not sure if it's only one person, two people or an entire group of people that i had annoyed and pissed off, but that thought alone just make me feel bad. I dont want to harp on this anymore but it's hard to get rid of this guilt but thru this F-ed up acts of mine i realised some people are really born kind and im amazed at how she's able to talk to me this calmly when she's all pissed off at certain point of time. Most people would just slapped the phone down.
Im a downright coward and i really hates it. I fell in love with a certain girl in one particular chalet last year but i never had the courage to take the initiative. Though i tried to understand her more, the door to her world always seems locked up and i can never find the key to it. I took my own sweet time and only until when all about to end, when i have to enter army, the thought of not seeing her face again just frightens me. I woke up from my dream and realise i can no longer just stand in a distance and peek at her. I get confused and tried to rush thing and now i have done some absolutely stupid stuffs and the damage done might be irreversible, probably is, and trying to salvage it will just make it worse and i knew it would cause it happened b4. If you are really kind, i hope you can just send a simple msg like " i hate you and dont ever want to hear your annoying voice" a clean painful stab to wake me up from my idealistic dream.
I didn't intend for this blog to confess my feelings or wadever, it just serve as an outlet to let these lil things out of my brain, keeping them all inside myself never feels good. It's like i have a million things i want people to know but there's no one i can tell that to and it feels really terrible. Maybe it's not that people do not try to understand me but i always build this wall to protect myself and i end up suffocating within them.
Anyway, dont even attempt to ask who's the girl i like cause i wouldn't entertain this question at all.
Oh, and there's one person i really want to thank but she may not know it. Hahaz, that's our jacq da jie, always willing to listen to wadever nonsense i have to say. THANK YOU >.<
To everybody out there, if you ever feel bored and extra msg to spare. Just send me well wishes or encouragement cause those random stuff really make my day =)
